Forgiveness is one of those topics that many women want to avoid talking about because somewhere in our lives someone has hurt us and we struggle with how to forgive them or we have difficulties forgiving ourselves for our own actions. God's word has a lot to say about this topic. He spans the entire Bible discussing forgiveness. He unbelievably and beautifully portrays His forgiveness towards us and commands us to forgive others in the same way. So let's look at what He has to say (or at least some of what He has to say) about this subject!
First off, we need to realize that each and every sin, no matter how LARGE or small in our earthly eyes, separates us from God. Each and every sin has natural and spiritual consequences. So no matter what others have done to us, our bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness are accomplishing the same things as their sin…separation from God and having His blessings, fruit, and power active in our lives!
God tells us in Romans 3:23 that "ALL have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God.” No One is good enough to accomplish God's standard...holiness, perfection, righteousness. We can find MANY scriptures to substantiate this point, but let's move on.
In Jeremiah 5:24-25, the Lord tells us that He withholds His blessings from those who walk in sin. "They do not say to themselves, “Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Your wrongdoings have kept these away; your sins have deprived you of good.” This means that when I refuse to acknowledge that I have done something contrary to the character of God, my sin "deprives me of good.”
Wow! But just wait. In Isaiah 59:1-2, He tells us, “Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save; nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.”
That is a lot to process. My unrepentant sin completely separates me from God so that He will not hear me. Some people say, "But I lead a very good life. I am kind and helpful and a good friend..." Sometimes we don't see a need to repent. We can't see that we have done anything wrong. James 2:10 says, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”
So, we know that sin is sin and we ALL are guilty of it! Where does forgiveness fit into this? When we hold onto bitterness, hostility, hatred, resentment, rage, and anger we are sinning. Let's talk about the physical issues of that sin first. Choosing not to forgive does nothing to cause pain to those who have hurt us; it simply causes pain (physically and emotionally) for us, and it separates us from God. No good thing comes from unforgiveness.
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. One study that looked at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender there is improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the
In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose family members were murdered in the political violence, it was found that people who are taught how to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. Studies show a reduction in experience of stress, physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality.
Unforgiveness destroys us from the inside out. It destroys our relationship with others and it destroys our relationship with God. Matthew 6:14-16 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Did you get that, ladies? If we don't forgive others, GOD WILL NOT FORGIVE US!!
In Matthew 18:21-22, 33-35 Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times…" Peter thought he was so righteous by forgiving seven times. Jesus showed him how far from Christ's standard that actually was. Continue reading in that chapter and a parable shows more of the Lord's heart on forgiveness. It ends with "shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
Generally,
forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The
act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but
forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive
parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding,
empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness
doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you,
and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person and
allow God to deal with their actions. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace and
freedom that helps you go on with life.
God has a lot to say about this topic of forgiveness. He speaks about it over 115 times in His word. Here are just a few of the verses speaking of God's forgiveness towards us...
Psalm 103:8-18
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever, he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Acts 3:19
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Daniel 9:9
The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.
Col. 1:13-14
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Here are verses on our response to the Lord's forgiveness. This is how we are to live because of His power flowing within us!
1 Cor. 13:5
[Love] is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Eph. 4:26-27
In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Matthew 5:44-48
“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Luke 6:27-37
“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold you shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is your, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you…But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn and you will not be condemned; pardon and you will be pardoned.”
Romans 12:17-21
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Hebrews 10:29-31
“How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, “and again, “The Lord will judge His people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
The Lord’s Prayer: Matt. 6:11-12; Luke 11:3-4
“…Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, AS we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Exodus 34:6-7
“And He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished…”
Ephesians 4:31-32
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Colossians 3:12-17
“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
Col. 3:5-8
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.”
Luke 17:3-4
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Genesis 50:17, 19-20
“This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly. Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father. When their message came to him, Joseph wept…But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
God loves us so much that He came in human form, lived a blameless life, willingly died a horrible death, was buried, and then conquered death when He rose from the grave!! He offers His love and forgiveness to all who will receive it. When we receive it, we are expected to in turn offer (by His power flowing through us!) that love and forgiveness to others.
Ladies, it is time to let go and let God have ALL of us. No more bitterness. No more anger. No more hate. No more resentment. No more rage. You are incapable of doing this, but Almighty God living and working in you can!
Here are some powerful examples of forgiveness:
Matthew West: Forgiveness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReqKB_soJfM&feature=related
Son forgiving Father: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv50xrsFNdU
Mom forgave son’s murdererhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2BITY-3Mp4&feature=related
Corrie!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cfp51vLZb4&feature=related
Kevin Levar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mv3pr1YT6Q
Here is a powerful account of what Jesus went through because of His love for you. This is how He forgives…how dare we not forgive others when Christ has fully forgiven!
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